161.4!

42 pounds down, 23 more to go!

Oh, and Happy 12 week Birthday to my favorite little man!

Liam Dancing to Jingle Bells

Disclaimer: no babies were hurt in the making of this video

I go back to work on Monday, but Jeremy is taking the last two weeks of the year off so Liam doesn't go to daycare until Jan 3rd.

I've been stuck in the house because it's been extra cold or icky out. Jeremy has been working from home which can be a drag because I don't hsve computer access and can't watch TV when he is on the phone.

Liam feels better today, but is still sleeping alot. we did have some pretty good play time this morning before he turned into mister grumpster.

Starting in Jan, I think we are goingf to start looking at new houses. I'm trying to decide if maybe we wsant to keep this house as well and rent it out. We could charge like $1000 rent and make a profit. I don't know. It's a very big responsibility.

Liam has not had a good day. Lots of loving and cuddling and sleeping on top of me. he's been really cute though because he's learned how to wrap his arms around your neck and hold on...

holy crap

I am thankful that Liam is down to one poopy diaper a day, but REALLY????

The days are going by quickly; pretty soon I will be heading back to work. I like work, but I know it will be hard to leave Liam at daycare. It will be hard for Liam too, because right now he is the center of my world and I know exactly what he wants and what his little noises and faces mean, but the people at the daycare won't.

I found two outfits in his closet that he hasn't worn yet-- they are 3 month sizes. He wore them yesterday and today, but his little toes are curled up in them. so I guess they are going into the storage bin. I can't believe he is so big.

Today is bath day. he has alot of dry skin, so he has been getting lotioned up several times a day. I think it's just a winter thing though because I have dry skin on my arms as well.

The doctor actually told me that alot of babies aren't making their goals of rolling over from tummy to back because of the whole back is best thing. I've been trying to make sure that he gets some tummy time when he is awake at least every day, but he doesn't really like it. I guess that is good because he works out his arms more when he is fussy, but being fussy can quickly turn into complete hysteria.

Zippy went over to Maybe and started cleaning her head. it was pretty cute. He's so starved for affection he's started loving on the dog.

Liam's doing pretty good lifting up his head; if only he could figure out what his arms are for.

He hasn't started reaching for things yet, but he does wave his arms around I think to hit things. and he for sure kicks when he gets upset. or when he's trying to fart.

his hair is growing-- it is very cute.

I've been worried about him getting too cold at night because he kicks off his cover. we've been doing sleep sacks and warm sleepers, and last night I put socks on his hands because the little mittens he has are too tight around his wrists. It was so cute because when i got up at 1:30 for his feeding, he had his little fingers spade out inside the socks

Liam is in a very grumpy mood. He got his shots today. 14 pounds and 3.4 ounces. 24.5 inches. He's in the 90th percentile in length and weight, but in the 30th percentile for head circumference.

We had a good trip to South Bend. Ian and Liz and Tim were very sweet and it was a good visit and Liz gave us tons of warm weather clothing. He is now in 6 month clothing almost exclusively. He is such a big baby.

He has been sleeping in the crib every night. Last night he slept from 12:30 to 2, then I put him back in the crib and grumped for 2 minutes then went back to sleep. then he slept until 6:45. Jeremy got to sleep an extra long time because I didn't wake him up at the 2am feeding.

Liam slept in his crib for 3 hours all by himself last night with NO TEARS! He hasn't slept in his crib since the day after we brought him home. I've been having play time in there with him and getting him use to it. We had gotten to the point where he would go in it without immediately starting to cry and I decided to try it out last night.

I laid him down at around 1 am (it was a late night) and had to get up because he got the hiccups almost immediately. I loved on him and calmed him down--- he was irriated at the hiccups but not crying. Then I laid him down and he went straight to sleep. i woke up around 4:15 because my breasts were starting to get engorged and because he was hiccuping again. he ate and then decided to wake up before I coudl lay him down again. so I only got 3 hours of sleep last night... not a happy camper, but happy that he was able to sleep by himself.

Yesterday was a bad day. and this morning was pretty bad too, although productive. This afternoon was much better. I was able to get out of the house with Liam and we went to Petsmart and to Target and to Michaels. Got a couple things for Christmas--- cards, present for Belle, present for Aaden and something for Jeremy's parents. Toy shopping is hard... I'm trying to find things that I would like to play with that won't drive parents crazy. it's difficult.

I am ready to go back to work.

Liam has been able to entertain himself more lately. he took a nap in the crib today for an hour. although I will admit that I shut his door, so if he wasn't too happy, I didn't know. I know he wasn't hysterical, because even with the door shut I can hear hysteria. I had to put him down like 8 times. He was soo sleepy, and would fall asleep in my arms and then immediately wake up when I put him in the crib.

he's on the floor now on his back wiggling... I may roll him over so he can have some belly time.

I got down to 165 for a day and then the next two times I went to the gym I was back up to 167. not very happy about that.

I've had three migraines in the past few days, which is one of the reasons why they have been so bad. I don't have any idea how I've managed on such little sleep the past two months. I can never catch up. And I have a bunch of sores in my mouth that hurt really bad and whenever Liam head bangs me in the face it's just horrible.

I think I'm going to make chili for dinner.

I am going to start going to baby yoga on Wednesday morning. It's $11 a session, but I think it is totally worth so that I get out of the house with Liam so I can keep my sanity.

hmmm... Liam just fell asleep on the floor on his belly. I'm impressed that he was able to do that. he has never falled asleep except in Jeremy or my arms. I'm glad it's on the floor in the living room so I can watch and make sure he is still breathing since he's on his belly

weigh in was moved to Friday and I was down to 167! it makes me happy that I am seeing progress, although very slow at times. It's been very hard with the food choices that I've been making (I had to convince myself yesterday that a milk shake was not an good way to get calcium like 8 times. that's what calcium supplements are for, which I had already taken that day).

Speaking of calcium (and iron), I think I'm going to have to upgrade my stool softner to a stimulant laxative. Docusate just isn't cutting it. I'm still bleeding (which is a drag) and I'm pretty sure Liam is doing is best to suck all my calcium out so that he can grow big and strong. So I need both. But I also need to poop.

we've had a couple of rough nights from 9-midnight the past few nights.

I wanted to post that when i weighed in yesterday, I was down to 168. next weigh in- Thursday. Maybe I will be able to get down to 165 before my doctor's appt on the 11th.


My boobies are telling me that they need Liam.

he is SOOO cute.

I still haven't lost any more weight. very depressing. And I didn't go work out tonight--- I was feeling very sleepy and down and postpartum bluesy. I ate well today though, and I haven't missed since last Tuesday. I would like to be down to 165 by my 6 week f/u appointment on 11/11, but that's 5 pounds in ~2 weeks and since I didn't lose any weight this past week, it's not looking hopeful.

Jeremy is working from home tomorrow. he has been working from home alot.

Liam's 1 month f/u appt went well. His little baby acne is clearing up. his cheeks are still very rough. The nurse said that stuff on the back of his head looks a little yeasty, but it is drying up.

he's a little bull. mama's the heifer, and he's the little bull. pretty soon he will be 20 pounds... craziness.

I think he is waking up. I had better go get him so Jeremy can sleep.

170.8 lbs. next weigh in on Thursday. Hopefully, I will break the 160's.

So, our plan to not co-sleep has hit a snag as Liam will not tolerate being by himself for even a few minutes. I slept better last night, but still not great. he's on a 1.5-2 hour schedule at night instead of a 3-4 hour schedule like he's on during the day. but, I was alot nicer last night.

my uterus is not on the same game plan as me.

I love the Liam. Sometimes, Jeremy and I will just be sitting there with him, and we'll get teary-eyed just because the emotions are so strong. It's like this ache and overwhelming love is just too much to contain.

and every time he looks at me and crosses his eyes, I crack up. he's the best little guy. except when he gets frustrated and kicks my boobs. they are still pretty sensitive and man, his little nails are like razors.

Even though 3am feedings suck because they are at 3am, I think they may be my favorite time with him. I love watching him.

well, 172.8 pounds. Which is good news because when i weighed myself at the scale at the Liam's doctor's office, I had only lost a pound and I was pretty tore up about it yesterday. i know that 9 pounds a week isn't realistic, but I'm glad that I'm over half way to my goal weight. 65 pound weight gain is rough. I walked at the gym for 2 miles and did 25 crunches. I was going to do the ellipitcal for 20 minutes, but I want to make sure that I don't push too hard.

Jeremy's mom came and saw Liam for the first time. I took a 3 hour nap and by the time I woke up, she was ready to leave. I was having alot of anxiety about it, so I think it was the best for how it worked out.

Little liam has so many hiccups. poor little guy.

Tomorrow Jeremy is working from home all day, so it will be a 10 hour test run to see if I can handle Liam on my own. so, pending emergency or mama breakdown, I'll have him all by myself.

liam had his one week f/u a week late. he gained 6 oz (9 pounds 12 oz) and is now up to 23 and 3/4 inches.

grandma's visit

I wish
liam would feed based upon the status of my boobs and when they are on the verge of exploding. instead, he only wants to feed ebery 4 hours or so during the day and makes up for it at night by wanting to eat every hour or so. getting old fast

The other interesting thing is that he freaks out when he's in rhe bassinet. Jeremy thinks it is because the walls are so close. So, he's been sleeping in the crib the past 2 nights (the first night, he slept on me or Jeremy because we were up all night with him). I was literally up every 5 minutes when he was in the crib the first night because he was so far away. i was worried he was too cold/too hot, not breatrhing, crying and I couldn't hear. I even thought about putting a sleeping bag in the nursery. I finally realized that it was okay when i was laying in bed and heard him poop from down the hall. he is so nosy, but never seems iN any discomfort.

well, it has been a very long week. Going to the hospital every 3 hours is exhausting, just in case you didn't know.

Little Liam hopefully will come home Wednesday morning. They took out his nasal canula at 3am and they need to watch him for 24 hours and arent' going to discharge him in the middle of the night. So, wednesday morning. hopefully.

I feel like I'm in this bizarro repeat cycle where it's been a month of getting up, pumping, going to the hospital, visiting with baby, going home, going to sleep. And then repeat. Every time we start over, it's like a new day. I have to force myself not to change outfits every time because wearing something for an hour doesn't count as being dirty.

My feet swelling has been going down. When I checked into the hospital, I was 204. I weighed myself on some random scale in the hallway the day after the birth, and i was only 192... and Liam was 9 pounds, so there's no way the scale was right. we were able to stop by the gym on the way home from the hospital and walk in; I was down to 181... that seems more realistic.

I love him so much it hurts. We have been tryin gto limit the visits to 30 minutes so that we can come home and have a decent amount of time for sleep, but it never works out. I think maybe I have been getting 4 hours a sleep a day (broken up in 30-45 minute increments); jeremy has been getting more because I have had people shuttle me to the hospital once a day so he can stay in and sleep. The plan was for me to stay home one session too, but I have to still get up and pump or my boobs will explode, and I usually just end up going to see Liam. He's also gets to sleep an extra 20 minutes when I get up and pump.

So, about 75% of the newborn clothes are too big for our gigantor baby:) we are very grateful though that he has no other problems (low birth weight, jaundice, heart issues, permanent respiratory problems).

birth story--- written as a letter to Deb, our bradley instructor

So… Here’s our birth story.

Liam Sebastian Fields was born at 5:07pm on 9/28 at St. Joseph’s East Women’s hospital. Virginia and I both think the labor and actual birth went about as well as possible, although there have been some post-birth complications that I will get to in a minute.
Before I get to the labor though, here’s a quick side note about our physician. We selected Dr. James before we had any intentions or real knowledge of natural birth, but stayed with her because at the time we felt comfortable with her. A couple weeks out from the labor though we started having second thoughts as we picked up on some things that caused concern. At Virginia’s 38 week exam, she stripped Virginia’s membranes during a vaginal exam and told her after the fact, which upset both of us greatly. She then offered to induce Virginia after telling her that she would be out of town on Liam’s due date. The same thing happened an exam week later on 9/27; Virginia was only 3cm dilated and she wanted to send her over to the hospital for “augmentation”, not inducement. Of course, we declined. Dr. James actually was out of town beginning 9/28 and Liam was delivered by Dr. Steele instead. We were very happy with Dr. Steele so it all worked out. Dr. Steele and every single one of the nurses was up to date on our birthing plan and we heard several people discussing it within the first 5 minutes of us arriving.
The evening of the 9/27, we went to the gym and walking the mile or so that she usually did every evening and had pineapple for dessert after dinner. She really wasn’t having consistent contractions through out the day (maybe one or two every hour if we were lucky). Virginia began feeling regular contractions around 2:45am on 9/28 (every 5 minutes) after she got up to go to the restroom. She monitored the contractions for the next 6 hours with a nifty iphone app (I was able to sleep until 5:45). Around 8:30 the contractions started to pick up steam (3-4 minutes apart—the drive to St. Joe East was 2 minutes) and we went to the hospital at 9am (after I finished baking chocolate chip-oatmeal-walnut cookies for the nursing staff). At check in she was 4 cm, 90% effaced and 0 station. After getting situated, the nurse wanted to keep Virginia on the fetal monitor for 30 minutes because her first blood pressure was a little high. They ran a pre-ecalampsia screen but every single BP after that was normal so we think it was a cuff placement issue. They did 20 on 40 off for 2 hours and then just kept the monitor off completely. Periodically though the nurse would just press the monitor to Virginia to check on the baby’s heart rate. They were never super rigid about checking though and were flexible if Virginia was in the middle of a lap around the floor. Until about 1pm or so, Virginia walked laps around the floor, tried some different positions in bed, and also used a yoga ball, provided by the hospital, to labor. She tried to squat during one contraction, but it didn’t work out too well. Which was disappointing because she has been training like crazy with squatting the past few months. On a similar note, Virginia wanted me to make an ipod play list of songs she thought would help her relax. This sounded good in theory, but she was done with the music by the 2nd song. She was all about the room being as dark as possible during a contraction, so every time one came I would kill the lights.
At 11:30am Dr. Steele examined Virginia, and she was 5 cm, 100% effaced, but I didn’t catch the station. Dr. Steele offered to break Virginia’s water, which we of course declined. She said that she would likely not be able to deliver the baby since it would be late in the evening before the baby would come since we were declining to have the water broken and another doctor on call would take over care. At 1:40 pm, Virginia’s water broke spontaneously during a particularly strong contraction. Our nurse Barb was actually holding the fetal monitor to Virginia at the time, so we got to hear a popping sound when it occurred. Shortly after the nurse examined Virginia and she was 7 cm. For the next 2 hours the contractions picked up intensity and took a lot more out of Virginia, but she was still very much in control. Around 3:40pm Dr. Steele checked her again and she was 8 cm. Sometime between 3:50 and 4pm, Virginia started transitioning. This was as intense as advertise. Virginia went from “ I’m not sure if I can do this,” to “I CAN’T DO THIS!” Each contraction was an ordeal but she got through them one at a time. Afterward, she said she was had complete knowledge that she was hysterical during these contractions, but there was no way to stop it. She was able to relax really well between contractions, and mentioned at one point that she wanted drugs during one of these down moments, but did not use our code word that we had discussed several times. Our nurse also picked up on what was happening and stayed by our side. She was so great and knew exactly the right thing to say and just how to say it, at least for Virginia.
If someone has never seen a loved one suffer, I don’t think it’s possible to prepare yourself for hard it is to see your wife in such anguish. At one point the nurse did pull me to the side to let me know this is very normal, but if I thought Virginia should consider intervention I should talk it over with her (Virginia). She also told me she would not ever offer it to Virginia and she never mentioned it to me again. Quick side note. When processing in they insisted we sign the epidural consent form just in case, but assured us they would not ever push it on us, and they stayed true to their word.
At 4:30pm Virginia was 10 cm and ready to push! Just before she started pushing I could hear Dr. Steele reviewing the birth plan with her team and making sure everyone was aware, which was very reassuring to me. Virginia was in a much better mental state now and even conversational with the staff in between contractions. I didn’t count but I would guess took about 10 contractions with pushing to get him out. She pushed for 37 minutes. Once he crowned, he came out very quickly. Virginia doesn’t remember the ring of fire happening (they added lots of topical lidocaine) and didn’t really think the pushing was painful. She was surprised that she felt like her ears were going to pop every time she pushed. She did have some second stage tearing that required stitching, which was pretty uncomfortable even with some lidocaine injections.
Liam was put skin to skin immediately after birth but soon it was apparent he was having some respiratory distress- lots of grunting that didn’t improve with the suction bulb. They took him off to the side (I went with him) and suctioned 12 ml out, but he still wasn’t breathing well and was grunting with each breath. They tried skin to skin for a few more minutes to see if that would calm him down and allow him to feed, but it was very apparent this tactic wasn’t working. They took him down to the nursery (I went with him) and after seeing his O2 saturation was too low, they started him on oxygen. He coughed up more mucousy fluid, but was still laboring to breathe. The pediatrician came by and recommended that the neonatalist take control. Dr. Jundy ordered up x-rays and blood work, and they admitted him to the NICU. X-rays showed a lot of fluid in both lungs and a pneumothorax in his lower right lung. They determined that he aspirated fluid while being born. They put him on some various medications that Virginia can elaborate more on and put a breathing hood over his face for over night O2 treatment. The next morning after new x-rays, the pheumothorax had resolved on its own, but they were now treating him for aspiration pneumonia. His breathing rate was still very high and his O2 saturation would drop whenever he was distressed from over stimulation. They did remove the hood though and are delivering oxygen through his nose now. Because he is on restricted stimuli so keep is breathing rate down, I have yet to hold him and that is one of the worst part. We are both aching to cuddle him.
This morning (9/30) he looked much improved. He seems much more comfortable and less distressed. His breathing rate is still too high though and x-rays have not yet shown noticeable improvement. He has a good appetite and his body functions are starting to normalize. Virginia was able to pump 10 ml of colostrum after birth, which they gave him, and has been pumping regularly since with mixed results- we have been using pictures and one of his blankets to help her. Whatever she is getting though, they are giving to him. Virginia will be discharged today, but unfortunately the earliest Liam could possibly go home is Sunday, but at least we’re close to the hospital. We will be going to the hospital every 3 hours to visit and delivery whatever Virginia has been able to pump.
Even though this post birth isn’t what we hoped for, we do feel the best course of action has been taken. The NICU nurses along with the neonatalists Dr. Jundy and Dr. Ang have been great. We also feel the labor floor nurses were also great, especially Barb. Everyone was very cognizant and respectful of our birth plan although things got derailed post birth. Virginia labored at the hospital for 8 hours and we felt the facility was a reasonably quiet, private, and suitable place to labor. Also, there’s no way a successful, textbook natural birth would have been possible without the 12 week Bradley course and supplemental guidance from related materials. Deb, the accounts you gave of your real world experience as a natural birther and doulah were absolutely invaluable to us. The Bradley material although, good and informative, really hit home with us when you would relate it back to your experiences. For that we truly thank you for sharing and helping to make Liam’s natural birth possible.

10/1/10 update: chest xray is better, breathing rate is down but not quiet where is needs to be, we get to hold the baby this afternoon!, planned discharge from NICU still on Sunday hopefully.

No updates. 3 cm. Contractions aren't consistent. The doctor tried to send us over to the hospital today--- not for inducement, but for "augmentation".

She's going out of town tomorrow afternoon, so it will be someone else in the practice. Unless we keep to the plan of doing the majority of laboring at home before making the 2 minute drive to the hospital, then maybe the hospitialist will deliver BBF.

Not contractions overnight. I feel like the membrane stripping scare is over, so we went to Baby's R uS last night and finally got the other car seat base, and we went out to dinner at Cosi and then we went to the gym. I walked for a mile (i think) and it was very painful (my hips and legs hurt like crazy and my feet are pretty swollen). Then we attempted inducement in other ways, but failed miserable (9 plus months on the living room floor means VA gets suck on the living room floor).

Anyways, I was hoping that something would happen overnight, but I don't think I had one contraction and if I did, it wasn't strong enough for me to sleep through. I did sleep better last night--- i rearranged the pillows a bit.

I've decided that BBF would like to stay in there until his due date and all the stirrings I've had the past few days have just been from the membrane stripping.

Again, not too many contractions yesterday. a few at work, and one really good one last night. I had a really uncomfortable night. My hips are aching so much and I have alot of pressure. Even though I'm not contracting (or I'm not noticing I'm contracting), BBF has moved down alot. Yesterday, his bum was 5-6 inches lower than it usually is.

No more spotting, but alot of mucus.

not too many contractions all day today, but my mucus plug came out about 30 minutes ago.

well, my doctor's appt did not go well yesterday. My doctor did a vaginal exam, and then told me I would have some spotting. She then proceeded to tell me she stripped my membranes. Because she was going to be out of town on my due date. and I should have the baby within the next 2 days. and if not, she wanted to know if I wanted to be induced next week. needless to say, the look on my face told her she f*#$#ed up big time. She tried to back pedal and pulled out my birthing plan (which the first sentence states---" I do not want any interventions without discussion" and she agreed to several weeks ago) and said everything was good to go on it and we should be able to make it work.



In case you didn't know anything about membrane stripping, it's a form of induction-- the amniotic sac is separated by the cervix in order to induce contractions. It increases your chances of going into labor by 30% within the next 48 hours. It is reserved for patients who are past there due date, or have underlying conditions that would make an early labor favorable, such as high blood pressure or an infection. None of which I have.



Under no circumstances is it appropriate to strip membranes at 38 weeks without the mother's consent simply because the doctor is going out of town.

I now have zero trust in my doctor, and have been on self imposed bed rest and spent most of the day crying. I can no longer walk at the gym or do other activities to induce BBF's birth naturally, because I can't bare the idea of him coming before he is ready because my doctor sucks at life.

And now I have huge apprehension towards my labor because Jeremy will have to take the role of aggressor and interogate everyone who comes into the room to make sure they don't do anything we haven't agreed to. which conflict gives me anxiety... but I would rather be anxious and make sure my baby is protected.

oh yeah, Happy Anniversary Rebecca and Greg!

I think he flipped over

things I am looking forward to:
leaning forward
actually shaving my bikini area instead of faking myself out every time
wearing jeans
cardio for an hour
sleeping on my tummy
wearing my wedding ring
not being limited to 2 pairs of shoes (and soon not even those)
going a day without eating protein (this will have to wait for a while)

Closet fun of clothes, but nothing to wear =sadness

in case you were wondering, I am very pregnant

Yesterday, I had no contractions. very disappointing because the doctor on Thursday said I should be up to 1 or 2 an hour. He was very wiggling though, so I know he was okay. I would be okay with him arriving at 38 weeks. I've been feeling very melancoly, which I think is related to the fact that I was home all day by myself yesterday. It worries me that I might go crazy the 3 months that I'm off. I was going to go get tubing for the breast pump and maybe some bandaids and infant acetaminophen and ibuprofen, but that didn't happen.

I slept late and then watched epiosodes of hoarders all day long. and ate a bunch of icecream.

everything is almost ready--- there's nothing much to do. it's a waiting game now. I don't know what I'm going to do when I really start nesting because there's nothing left to do.

I did have 3 contractions this morning, all within an hour at around 4am. but since then, nothing.

Jeremy cleaned out our cars last night. now the car seat can go in. when need to find out where the closet firestation is so that we can make sure it is installed right.

the house does need to be vaccuumed, but just barely. and I can't so that because I would get too hot.

I think in the next few months we are going to get a new comforter for the bed. the one we have is a wedding present, and it's still in good shape, just very worn. I wouldn't even mind getting an exact replica.

Rebecca, I keep meaning to ask you if you could keep Aaden away from other little kids inbetween now and the baby coming if you are going to bring him up to Lexington when he is born. I don't want him exposed to any strango-day-care like germs before he is fully vaccinated. I don't know if he is going to the gymboree thing or swim classes anymore or not.

I love how Maybe comes and sits down besides me, farts, and then nudges my hand with her head in embarassment.

I've been feeling very nauseated the past few mornings. the baby is taking up too much room I guess.

head down. 6.2 lbs. heart rate good. 1 cm dilated. 75% effaced. mole checked out. didn't break 200 lbs.

the doctor reassured me that I won't have a 15 pound baby.

now I have to wait for the group b strept results

it's not a good sign that my ankles are already swollen and the day hasn't even started :(

Two nights ago, I don't think I slept at all, but last night was better. I was still up every hour peeing, but it wasn't that I didn't get to sleep at all. I wake up and hurt, and I know that I need to flip over for circulation reasons, but it hurts to row over, and then I know once I do roll over, I'll have to pee and will need to get up. so even if I don't have to pee, I get up and go just because.

I like having days off because I don't have to go to work; I don't like all the toilet paper I got through.

I might be slightly obsessed with finding diapers on sale.

The consignment shop that I've gotten some baby clothes and maternity clothes is closing (this is their last week). It makes me sad because it was really close to our house and really cheap. we actually went on Monday and got a bunch of 12 month clothes for BBF since they were so cheap to put into storage. Two coats and 10 outfits, only $36.

less than 4 weeks until my due date. less than 2 weeks until I'm full term.

Ultrasound tomorrow to check the position. 10 bucks they tell me he's gigantor and I'll likely have to be induced. I'll just say, the Jolley women have big babies and they have all managed to squeeze out their babies, so too bad.

I am very excited about all the baby things coming in the mail. Our tub is only available online, and if you spent $100 you got free shipping and handling from babies r us. So, I got 100 worth of things that we need (not just want!) that were on sale right now and I wouldn't be able to do the 10% off 2 weeks before my due date because they were already having a special on them.

So, our tub is coming, a new nursing bra, some nursing pads, some changing pad covers, an infamous boppy. Our car seat is also on the way, and my $10 clock arrived yesterday.

Very excited. everything is coming together.

Jeremy just got home, so we need to go and get ready for ikea

Today is our anniversary! I had a pretty good day. I got to sleep late, and Jeremy worked from home in the morning and then we went to a doctor's appt and talked about our birthing plan which was approved by the doctor (HUGE relief).

Then we went to the daycare center to tour. I think we are going to look at one more over by UK and then we will make our decision.

Then Jeremy went on into work, and I took a really long nap. I was going to go shopping to get some things, but I realized that I left my wallet in Jeremy's glove box. So I didn't. I did work about two hours in the garage.

Then when Jeremy got home, we went to Thai Smile for our anniverary dinner. Then back into town to look for quilt hangers at Hancocks and some iron on letters for BBF's onesies. I want to make one that says "no bottles, just boobies" but the letters were way too big and they didn't have quilt hangers even though on their website they said they did.

Then we came home, worked on the house for about 15 minutes, and watched True Blood.

Tomorrow we are going to the class on carseats. I still have one 20% off coupon that I am going to use to buy that with.

I want our house done. I decided last night (after waking up at 1:30 and not being able to sleep) that I dont' even want to move right now. It will be too big of a stress with the baby being so near and I don't want to go into early labor. And I don't want to have to live out of boxes and I'm just tired.

The house should be compeletly done within the next two weeks, and maybe at that point we would put the house on the market just to see if it sells, but I don't even know about that then. I don't know if I will be up to getting the house clean and ready for a showing post partum. Why did we wait so long to get so serious abotu this?

thankfully, a big part is done and that is the painting. now we are just waiting on tile and carpet. and then we can start moving stuff back in from the garage and being normal again

I am slightly overwhelmed

Jeremy's back!!! yeah!!!!

I missed him alot and so did BBF.

I have my glucose test this morning in an hour. I had two hard boiled eggs (which I was not looking forward to) for breakfast.

I get to look forward to lunch at least:)

It's a really nice feeling to have someone coming over to the house, and not having to spend like 5 hours cleaning to get ready. more like 30 minutes. and that's with scrubbing the sink out.

the to do list keeps getting smaller and smaller. pretty soon it will be completely gone.

the nastiest thing right now is the kitchen. it needs a good scrubbing.

turtle isn't doing any better, although she did have something to eat this morning. Zippy has just been very mean to her and keeps attacking/trying to rape her in the middle of the night. He did it twice last night and two times the night before. I don't know what to do.

Jeremy is gone today (he left yesterday morning) for Chicago. he should be back on Friday evening at 5pm. I'm sorta glad that they gave my shift away at the VA, because now I will be able to see him right when he gets home.

I have to go to my Bradley class tonight by myself. We are coming up with birthing plans. I wish that Jeremy could be here, but the other class he would have missed if he went to chicago a different week was very coach orientated, and that wouldn't have been good.

BBF has been very busy that past few days. not so much this morning, but he was going crazy on Tuesday night. Just Crazy!

now her poor eye is leaking blood:( sadness

well, I got the bookshelve cleaned off in the living room, and I cleaned out two baskets in the garage. slowly but surely.

We will be having a painting party on Saturday July 24th. Because on Monday July 26th, we will be getting new carpet:) hopefully. it will work out perfectly. There are alot of things to do between then and now, so it will be very busy.

The kitchen/bathrooms I think are just going to have to wait.

Turtle has taken a turn for the worse. Her growth as come back, but now it is on her nose. overnight, her eye started getting droppy and she has been hiding in the bedroomo for the past few days.

Jeremy went to go visit his mom yesterday in the hospitial. She had a ruptured ulcer on Thursday or Friday, and then went into afib, so she's still in. I couldn't bear to go because I am still so upset about the money issue. She apparently cried a bunch and wanted to call me and talk to me, but I told Jeremy I wasn't ready. She had a whole month to call and apologize and she didn't.

I guess I'm not a very good person.

I feel much better after my vent from yesterday.

I am planning this damn bridal party for Bri and is it turning into a nightmare. When we rent a place that only holds 20 people, then you can't invite 40. there will be nowhere to sit, and we won't have enough food.

no one seems to understand this concept except me. so frustrating. and not to mention that I've already spent a ton of money on this and now I have to go buy more invitations to send out to more people. And I was thinking, well, you know, Bri and the other residents are going to be generous throwing me a baby shower, so it will all come out in the wash. But, then Bri tells me yesterday that my baby shower is going to be at work, in my 30 minute lunch break, and everyone is going to bring in food. and the only people that will be there are SOME of the folks at cooper and NONE of the people from Leestown and NO ONE from outside the VA. Which is fine, but why in the hell did my idea about everyone bringing food get vetoed for Bri's shower and now we have to pay to have it freaking catered. I did NOT plan on spending over $100 on this bridal shower and yet I am. And I can a freakin 30 min baby shower with people I'm not even that close with.

I wished Jeremy's parents weren't such stupid heads

Jeremy's car is full of stuff again for goodwill. Tomorrow he is goign to drop a cable from the attic to see if we can move the TV to the other wall.

We looked for a light wicker basket with a lid to put in our bedroom so we can have somewhere to put our socks. but, we found nothing. maybe we have to go to a furniture store? we still haven't looked at Walmart.

Next weekend, new computer chair.

very excited about the purchases we made today for the house. Slowly but surely! Out with the old crappy stuff, in with the new nice stuff.

And freaking strawberriers are 67 cents at Meijer!

I've had to do something every single night this week except Tuesday. i am excited about having Saturday off. But then I have to work Sunday through Saturday next week, with only Thursday off. Friday will be a short day though. And then the week after that, two very short days at the VA, two at CVS, another one at the VA and two days off! I can't remember the last time that I had two days off in a week. It will be NICE.

Lowe's is a pretty good company. We got a floor mat for the door, but I guess Jeremy left it in the cart when we loaded up the car with the new blinds that we got. That was on Sunday. He called on Wednesday when we realized that we didn't have it to see if maybe someone turned it in. Although they said no, they did say to come and on and they would replace it for free if we brought the reciept? Pretty nice. They totally didn't have to do that.

we are thinking of moving the couch. we'll see how that goes.

Thinking about it, I wish that our living room was white. I think it would make it look bigger.

Maybe has a new dog bed ordered for her. And her nasty butterfly chair has a date with the trash man next Tuesday.

This weekend, we finish cleaning out the office (minus the filling cabinet). We have to clean up the garage to move said filing cabinet. And I have to go through said filing cabinet and throw out the very old stuff.

Is it strange that I'm sorta dreading registering for baby things? I have no idea what or how much of anything I will need. I don't want someone to get me somethign that I asked for, and then I use it once and then it spends the next 2 years sitting in the baby's room.

Does everyone use their little rocking chairs they got? Or the changing table? or the diaper genie? please be honest? And do I need to register for clothes, or do people just get you what they think is cute anyway?

when are you suppose to start using pacies?

do people actually use baby monitors?

How do you know which is the best/safest car seat or stroller? The more expensive? does anyone actually use their stroller more than once a year? how long is a car seat good for? do you buy one to last until they are old enough for a booster seat? and if you have two parents, do you buy two, one for each car?

I have decided that chaffing is punishment for all pregnant women for daring to let their butts drop and their thighs rub together.

I'm at 30 pounds weight gain. My goal now is to maintain this weight and not gain any more. likely not going to happen, but a girl can hope right?

the heat rash on my butt is KILLING me. Killing me. sitting down and standing up is agony. seriously, I want to do three hours of cardio to make my butt higher so there isn't that spot where my butt is hanging over the back of my thigh. it's horrible, and I know it's going to to worse. Because I will get bigger, and it will get hotter, and I can't do more than 30 minutes of cardio a day because isn't not fair to BBF.

And let's not talk about the travesty that is the skin under my boobs. We've already been through dozens of layers of skin there and I'm using baby powder like crack.

Virginia feels like banging her head against the wall when she takes sick leave to go to a doctor's appt and then spends an hour sitting in the waiting room. And why it the heck to I have to go every 2 weeks when I reach 30 weeks? so they can check my weight, BP, measure my tummy and ask if the baby keeps kicking? couldn't we just discuss that over the phone? I have this sickening feeling that for every hour I earn with comp time, it'll be chewed up by freaking 5 minute appointments that take 3 hours out of my work day.

Pooping is nice. I wish I did it everyday. Meaning, I didn't poop yesterday, and now I regret it.

Turtle and her string. She is sooo funny.

not funny is big boobs and weight gain in pregnancy

Today was suppose to be very productive, but not so much. At least Jeremy was very productive yesterday to make up for it. I did go to the gym and get a good work out in , and got lots of protein today. And I took a nice nap, although I went into the bedroom to lie down because I was upset.

I am so angry at Jeremy's parents, and I don't know what to do to fix the problem. They need to apologize for being so mean and hateful, but instead Jeremy's mom keeps doing things that really upset me.

And unless they apologize, I can't pretend like nothing has happened, and want them in our lives with the baby. She can't expect me to just ignore the fact that she was so evil to us, and then send her pictures of my tummy and the baby? what in the world?

I think we are FINALLY going to get rid of my old bedroom set from when I was little. it's in pretty good shape for being almost 20 years old. We'll see if Jeremy can pull off getting it to Goodwill while I am at work today.

And then we will be one step closer to have the baby's room ready. Just need to get rid of a bunch of other stuff in there. I'm taking a firm stand that there won't be any electronic or office supplies, so finding room for a desk, a computer, a filing cabinet, a supply bin, a fax machine and a printer is NOT my idea of fun. i WISH we had a basement or another bedroom. Which leads me to WISH that we had enough money for a down payment on our dream home with money left over for emergency.

Who knows? maybe when i start staffing, the money will be more than we know what to do with, and we can save 10K in 1 month (haha-- not likely). The government likes to have their share too, and once I enter into the world of grown up pharmacist, I'm pretty sure we are getting skyrocketed into the highest tax bracket. Although, my first day is July 5th (which is a government holiday!) so I get to make double time. So, I will be making more my first day of work than I do working an entire week of residency. THAT is craziness.

slowly but surely we are getting the house ready to sell so that if we do find a house that fits our price range, we will be able to move. I'm not worrying about it too much; I've decided that if it doesn't happen before the baby gets here, then it's going to have to wait until the baby is much older.

I'm ready to kiss baby boy Fields on the nose. I think that is one of the things I'm looking forward to most. I love kissing Jeremy and the animals on the nose; I'm sure kissing our baby on the nose will be amazing as well.

We have a name picked out, but mums the word. Everyone will have to be surprised on BBF's birthday:)

I am ready to be done with this residency and hopefully cut back on the number of hours I'm working. It hasn't been as bad this trimester, but one day I want to only work 5 days a week, 8 hours a day.

I told CVS that I was going to be working full time with the VA, and they were okay with that. they were actually really nice about it. they can still use me on a pull basis, but I'm gonna try to make it plain that it will really be in case they are really short. and after the baby comes, it might not be at all.

I'm taking a break from facebook. When I have any more pregnancy pictures, i will post them on here.

Happy Birthday to my favorite Rebecca! I love you very much.

Last night my run did not go well. I had to do 4 miles and I literally thought I was going to puke the last three miles. I finished though (very slowly), but I finished. I think it might have something to do with the almonds that I ate about an hour beforehand. I think they just didn't digest yet and were sitting in my stomach and that was making me feel bad.

But, today when I ran 3 miles, it was alot better. and alot quicker. Tomorrow I have to run 8 miles, so hopefully no urge to vomit. that would make my run sorta sucky.

Jeremy is watching the UK game and he just left during half time in order to go get some kitkat food. Monday, he had to drive to Louisville to pick up his parents are the airport and then bring them back here to pick up their van.

My bowels have been whacky since this half marathon training started.

I need to take a shower. I'm a little stinky.

We keep saying that I'm going to get some more running shoes and that we're going to get more protein bars, but it hasn't happened.

I got one of my books today! woohoo!

my books aren't here yet. lame.

It's also lame that I thought I was suppose to run 6 miles, but it was only 5. that's lame

I ordered two books from Amazon and I want there here now! stat! right this moment!

1000 posts-- how about that?

I don't think Louisville is going to happen.

it's going to be okay.

no Louisville today. The snow finally came. Maybe tomorrow?

I hate that I woke up this morning bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:30am. What the heck?

so where is all this snow that we are suppose to have? Or where is ANY of it?

If we don't get snowed in, the plan is to go to Louisville.

I'm really enjoying running. I hope that it stays that way until March 28th.

oct 2

I think that we are coming to Louisville this weekend if anyone would like to go to Avatar at the IMAX. Jeremy has been dying to see it, and I need to pick up Mary Kay at Rebecca's (which I ordered almost a month ago but haven't gotten yet).

Jeremy has to go to Cincy tomorrow. I never like it when he's far away. Tomorrow will be the first time that I will have driven my car more than a mile since the clutch was replaced. I'm slightly freaked out by it, especially because the weather is suppose to be really bad.

My training for the half marathon has been going really well, although I missed a day last night because we went out to dinner with friends and I stuffed myself so much that if I tried to run late last night, I would have barfed. But, tomorrow is suppose to be a cross training day, so I can just catch up with a 3 mile run and be back on track.

I got a cold weather running shirt last night. Between that and my running pants, it's one whole complete spandex outfit. It's gonna be awesome when I wear it. Not.

The top of my right foot has been numb. That's strange. It justs really biazzare. I haven't done anything to it.

I have my application questions completely. Finally. they took forever and I've had alot of anxiety about them. I've sent them off to my mentor to review, so hopefully she will have some good suggestions.

I'm sorta had a bad day yesterday. Very insecure. But, it is sorta of good too, because when I'm so unconfident, it helps me to not get my hopes up about this ICU job at the VA. After I get my resume updated and turn in my application, I'm going to start working on applying for other jobs. There's a clinical job at st joes in Lexingotn, and another job in Morehead, and another in Louisville. and I need to start looking down in Florida. You never know.

Happy Birthday Day old man. I hope that you have a great one")

waiting in the airport to come back home!!! It's gonna be a long couple of hours

In LA with the Chris and Lissa:)

when the hell did I get so many friends on the west coast? Biazzare!

sadly, my training has to start this Tuesday if I'm going to do the half marathon in Lexington at the end of March. So, I will be running in California. and Arizona.

Happy New Years everyone!

I have a couple of resolutions this year, but some of them are more like wishes.

-I want to run a half marathon. I officially start training for it at the beginning of Feb.
-I want to get down to 130, which is my ideal body weight. I actually don't think this will happen, but maybe with the above resolution it will.
-I want to start trying to have a baby this year, but I don't want to start until Jeremy wants to. Which refers to really just having a wish that Jeremy will be ready sooner rather than later.
-I want to eat 40 grams of protein a day (this one will be the hardest). If not 40, at least 20 grams.
-I am applying for the ICU job at the Lexington VAMC. I resolve to be confident in my ability to do the job AMAZINGLY, and if I don't get it, I resolve to not freak out. It will be okay if I have to work CVS for a few months while looking for clinical jobs in Florida. It will be okay. And if we decide to stay in Lexington, that will be okay too. I really do love this city, even with the cold, and if I have to let my license drop in Florida, or spend a couple hundred a year to keep it going just because, that is okay. it will be okay. If I can only work part time with CVS, that will be okay. we have plenty of money and have been making solid contributions to paying off our loans.

I guess my main New Year's resolution is just to accept the fact that I have no idea what I will be doing in the next 6 months or year, and that is okay. As long as I have Jeremy and a house to live in and a license to practice pharmacy, it will be okay.