Fields and Friends

I was tired last night so I didn't get gasoline. Then on the way to work this morning I noticed it had gone sky high ($1.32) since last night. Except for one Swifty on the way to work hadn't changed prices yet and it was $1.14 you pump and $1.16 they pump. The you pump line would have put me late for work so I got the $1.16 gas which still saved me money.That Swifty has since joined the others in the sky. Stopping this morning allowed me to feel decadent all day. And it's warm and sunny. Once in a rare while things just work out fine.

Thank you every one for the birthday wishes. The beginning of my birthday wasn't too good, so I spent the most of it nappying. But then Jeremy finally got home from work and we went out to dinner, got movies, scratch off lottery tickets and icecream. It was nice. And then we got to sleep late on Sunday.

I got cookie sheets and seed packets from my mommy for my birthday. It was perfect. Oh and Lissa got me this big paddle brush. It was perfect too.

Guess how many days until Hawaii? That's right... 19 days.

Just a million things to do between now and then. Speaking of which, I should go study.

Fields and Friends

Happy Birthday to the prettiest, smartest, kindest Virginia in the whole world!

Happy B-Day VA! I love you!

Today went a whole lot better than Wednesday. Wednesday was a HUGELY rough day and I am glad that it is over. I got up this morning and went running with Lissa and I did a whole mile running without stopping which is really impressive since I haven't ran since last year. And, I didn't really hurt too bad at all while I was doing it.

I also had a somewhat decent talk with pharmacy school Chris today. I don't think he really knew how to handle what was going on or how to deal with me. I think he just tried to pretend like nothing had really happened and treat me like he does every day. But I think he got the point that it wasn't the best way to go about it when I got up twice in the middle of the day Wednesday to go cry in the bathroom at school. It was just so frustrating. I needed something, anything for someone to just say breathe deep, it will be ok and give me a mental hug. But that didn't happen for the entire day until I called Rebecca after a really long day at school and as Lissa called it "did a tea kettle" on her. I felt much better but then I still needed to do a good cry again with Lissa over the phone later the night. Now I feel almost completely better. I look back and it's so strange to think about how people deal with loss. I really didn't even know Faith, I was much more impacted with the influence she had on her family. It was trully the worse feeling in the world to watch such grief cripple parents and children and siblings. It was such undescribeable grief too. And the worse part didn't hit me until Monday and Tuesday and especially Wednesday. I think Jeremy was bewildered too by what was going on with me too. It got to the point on Wednesday that I finally had to tell him no more news articles, no more pictures, no more updates on the investigation because it was getting to the point where I couldn't even be functional anymore whihc was causing its own anixety because of school. All day Wednesday I just kept thinking, "I wish it were a month from now. I wish it were a month from now. I wish it were a month from now." A month from now it won't be invading up my brain, taking up all my thoughts and emotions, leaving me exhausted.

Twinkie is back at the house. We are watching her this weekend while Lissa is down in New Orleans visiting a friend. I should really put a stop to this update and start on some homework. good night all.

I have been thinking about you both. I don't exactly know what to say. I seem to always screw up when I try to comfort people but here it goes. I love you guys (yes you too Jeremy.. and Greg).
Virginia and Rebecca, I am so glad to have you. I don't see you as much as I would like but my heart is with you. Mom and Dad there are no replacements for you. I think of you more often than I can call and I am truly grateful for you. I couldn't imagine life without any of you.
That being said, I still believe that everything has a purpose. Even things that hurt. I hope whatever that purpose is finds you and gives you peace.
I am always a phone call away. Even in the middle of the night my phone is ready for your call. Don't ever be afraid of waking me up, because even if you do... I still want to hear from you.

Even though I just found out that Lissa can't go work out this morning, I am still up getting ready to go to the gym. I haven't worked out in a week and I feel gross. Last night Jeremy's parents came into town to tell one of their aunt's about Faith's death. They didn't tell her earlier because they didn't think she could take it due to the stroke that she recently had. But, then she had another stroke yesterday morning and figured she really couldn't take it if she heard about it from someone else. We had dinner with them and I ate alot.

Last night was the first night I slept all the way through without weird scary dreams where I couldn't stop my mind from working. I'm still tired though and my head and tummy hrts.

I have a lot of catching up to do. I switched my lab from Tuesday to Thursday and I need to study for it tonight.

I guess I will head off and work out so I can feel better about myself for something.

This weekend was full of alot of sadness and anger and the majority of the time you couldn't tell the difference between the two.

Thank you to all who expressed your concern and well wishes. Thank you mom for coming up and watching the dogs. Thank you Bec and Greg for the flowers. Thank you Lissa and Chris for knowing exactly the right things to say. Thank you Korey for coming to the visitation.

what a waste

My thoughts are with both you guys. Jeremy, if you ever want, I'll come down and take you out for a beer or something. Needless to say, you need some time and space for a while, but the offer stands if you ever feel like it (whether it's to talk, or just get away for a while). Same to Virginia. I love you both.

Fields and Friends

Hugs to Virginia and Jeremy. You are in my thoughts.

Just in case, I don't have time in the morning.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECCA!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!

YOU OLD FART!!!!!!!!!

Man, I have a headache and I don't understand what we need to do for lab on Tuesday. I wish they had explained it to us better. I think we have to turn in like 20 things, but so far I can only figure out two of them.

ick.

Goodness. It is snowing like crazy

I had a horrible day today. HORRIBLE. I went and worked out with Lissa this morning and that was good. But my legs were still sore from doing wieghts on Wednesday and we did them again today. And Lissa did these cross country stretches on me so I wouldn't be as sore. And they helped at that time, but by the time I got to class and than sat from 9 until 3, I felt like my ENTIRE body was cramping up. It hurt so bad and I just wanted to get up and leave. But I couldn't because we were having a quiz that last class of the day and I had to stay at get my last Hep B shot at the clinic. And then the nausea started. And then I bite my cheek. I then I left my credit card in my car and didn't have anything to pay for my shot with. And then I yelled at Jeremy for not taking Turtle in to get her booster shots.

So, I came home, slammed the door and went to sleep. And when I woke up, I felt much better. And then 2 minutes after I woke up, Jeremy came home from working out. And he made me feel better.


And we went out to dinner and now we are going to watch a movie and I feel much better. So even though the beginning of the day was horrible, it is ending very well.

Let me tell you something about Virginia. She is brilliant. She could be anything she wants to be. And no matter how much she doesn't like dirty people (actually children), she cares about their well being
And do you know, I trust my pharmacist to give me information about the medication I have to take more than I trust my doctor to do the same. I know that pharmacist doesn't have a patient out in the waiting room needing her time. Virginia you have made the best decision for you. It doesn't matter what those other losers in pharmacy school are doing because you will be the one that patients trust. You will be the one that has that little old lady that won't talk to anyone else but you about her medicine. You will be the one, that helps that grumpy old man figure out how many pills to take and what time. You will be the one that reads the small print and when you realize you are insulting the person, you will say hey let me just make you a larger copy that you can read yourself. You will know all your customers by name.
Do not worry about people that don't know what it takes. They are not worth your time and energy.

I was super productive today. Meaning, I actually did school work the day after blocks, so that's impressive.

Although, my head and neck have been hurting for the past few hours, so that isn't good.

I'm back on track with staying healthy and in shape. I'm working out with Lissa tomorrow morning, bright and early. I hope my head is better by then.

Guess what? turtle can totally play fetch. It is ADORABLE

Two more tests today. I've been up since three studying for them and I think I'm going to go ok. At least I hope so.

I'm totally going to drag Jeremy out of bed in a little bit to make me breakfast. I'm sure he'll hate me for it.

I have to run and studying so more. Info keeps on falling out.

Four down, two more to go. The two today, Drug Design and CAPP, I think went really well. Not so much for phsiology yesterday, but I guess that you win some and lose some.

I just put Twinkle outside with the other dogs, and she's sitting at the door staring at me like I'm a freak. The other dogs are out there playing and I know she's sitting there thinking, "hey CRAZY lady! It's cold out here! And it's wet out here! Have you noticed? Let me in! Those idiots can run around in the snow, but not me. LET ME IN!!!

I just let her back in and she's quite confused over me drying her little feet with a towel. I'm sure she'll have plenty to tell Lissa about how crazy we are. "they pinched my feet and covered me in a towel and put me outside for some insane reason with those insane dogs who actually liked it... and that kitten wouldn't play with me. At that lady spent all her time staring at paper and then only good things about the entire experience was tasting those idiot's food and taking naps on that lady's lap."

I can totally tell why Lissa loves her so much. She practically screams LOVE ME LVOE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME. I don't think i've sat down once without her jumping up and cuddling in my lap.

Jeremy's working late to night, so I think I'll wait up for him before I go to bed because I took a nap today. Night all!

Fields and Friends

They won!! U of L won in overtime over NorteDame by 3 points! I mentioned that we were good luck and should probably get some of the company's tickets more often. I think I was ignored. It was snowy and miserable outside. Before the game, John let me off and went to park almost by the front gate of the fairgrounds. They had a boat show and a concert going on and parking was terrible. Ron had gotten there hours early so he and his daughter were parked at the front. After the game they drove us to our car.
I would fix some hot chocolate to comfort myself about the snow but I can't have milk or chocolate so that's that. Maybe one of the people who read this will drink a cup of hot chocolate for me.

Fields and Friends

A great week: Twice I had time to go to Iroquios Park and walk in just a sweater before coming home from work. However, it's suppose to snow tomorrow. Did I ever mention I hate snow? I thought so.
Work has been enjoyable except for about an hour and a half when the sixth grade administrator micromanaged a project that I could have done in a half hour if she hadn't insisted on helping. And you can't tell a supervisor go away and leave me alone because I'm smart enough to do the job a lot faster. Well, you could but it would cause more trouble than being bored and frustrated for a measy hour and a half. In addition to my library work, I've been helping with computer problems and it's lots of fun.
U of L has been losing lately so we get tickets to go to the game Saturday. Maybe they'll end up winning. Either way, we'll be in Pepsi's box and get fed well.
I hope tests go well and Perhaps lets Virginia get a whole night's sleep. Missy wakes me at around 2 a.m. too. I wonder if it a dog thing.

Dear Family:
I am tired. Please stop. I understand, yada yada.... closed minded yada yada. I don't ever write anything about you guys. Believe me, if I did, you would know. So please stop. I don't want to be lectured, I just want to write about how crappy or how well my day went and have people who read about it care. And I want to read about how crappy your day went and care. If that's not going to be how it goes, I'll just shut the site down.

A short update before I head to bed.

These past few days have been weird. Blocks are this weekend and I've been spending alot of time studying and not much else. I usually procastinate a ton, but I haven't done that at all but I still feel like i have so much more to do before blocks.

I've also been questioning my whole career move too. I love pharmacy and the idea of helping people and all that jazz. I hate the fact that I don't feel like I'm living up to my potential and that there are so many STUPID people in the pharmacy program. I hate that people are so in the dark about pharmacists and respecting them as real medical professionals. And why should they? I mean, people are going thru school right now doign the bare minimum to get a C so that they can put a Dr. in front of their name and a nice paycheck in their pocket and they don't care a rat's ass about medicine and people. It just pulls me down. It pulls me down that insurance companies won't pay for couseling. It pulls me down that people think becoming a pharmacist is as simple as going to a 2 year technical school.

I don't want to be a doctor otherwise I guess I would be in medical school. I just want people to know that I'm good enough to have done it. Jeremy says that I shouldn't care but I do. I've always been someone that needs constant pats on the back and I love you's and all that jazz.

I don't know. I guess I shouldn't care.

In other news, here's some reasons why I have smiled so far this week:
Turtle has been watching TV and it is DAMN cute.
Jeremy farted on me when I was hugging him the other night but I got back at him last night.
"But why is there a baby in your butt?"
Cool down crunches.
Level 8.
I could kill you with my nails right now if I wanted to.
Baby samples of wedding cake.
American Idol.
Pens that I got from Rebecca for Christmas