I started getting sick on Christmas with like some weird histamine reaction. Completely allergy related I thought, but was strange beacuse I typically don't have allergies this time of year.  I ended up being really tired and taking a 2 hour nap and then another three hour nap.  During the three hour nap, I noticed that my ears were starting to hurt.  By the next monring, I called into work because my head was killing me and I figured it was a double ear infection with a wicked cold.

needless to say, but the time I got to the doctor's office that afternoon, I thought i was dying.  Muscle aches, couldn't stand light or noise.  I really thought it might be meningitis because sudafed wasn't touching the headache at all.  They an influenza test even though I had the vaccine in October just in case.  And what do you know, I have influenza A.  The doc told me that I wouldn't be able to go back to work for 5 days which I thought was silly.  Until a few hours later, when the fevers and vomiting hit.

So, after not eating for 3 days, a bout of numb legs, 101 + tempaturues, isolation from the boys, and going from making 20 plus ounces of milk per day to less than 1... I tried to pump, but I was so dehyrated, the skin on my nipple ripped and started bleeding, I am still alive.

Lost 8 pounds, and can't imagine getting my milk back up.  Wyatt bites me every time I try to nurse and my left nipple is in taters.   I'm also on my period, which my milk went down last month too.  I have about 5 more days of milk in the freezor, and that's with milk my friend Catherine gave me.

I'll keep on pumping every few hours, but the last time I got maybe 5 mls.  It was so depressing.  Five ounces a pump to 5ml?  I got Wyatt to nurse a little bit, but then my nipple started bleeding again and I think he was getting more blood then milk.

I'm so sad about this.  8 months.   8 months.  and then this stupid flu. 

Meet Prim

Here's Prim, our new car! Prius V, 50 miles to the gallon, whoohoo!

Wyatt has never slept more than 6 hours (past 3:30am) and it is 7:30 and he is still in there sleeping. I woke up at 4:30 because I needed him to nurse, but I couldn't in wake him up because he has had such a rough few nights with fevers. Of course, I had to double check the baby monitor and go upstairs to make sure he was still breathing. I ended up pumping. and then I pumped again at like 6:30. I had a REALLY rough patch there when I was working 2nd shifts. I had a very very heave period that lasted like 8 nights and between not being at home with Wyatt and him not feeling well, and eating more baby food, I thought I was going to end up weaning him. It was horrible. Every pump session I almost cried... I was getting like 1.5 ounce per boob instead of like 3.5 ounces. One night when I got home, I tried to nurse Wyatt and he just kept suckling and suckling, but I knew he wasn't going to get any. We ended up giving him the milk I pumped for the next day in the middle of the night, and he was very angry when that was gone, so he got two ounces of formula. He hasn't had any formula since I went to the ER when he was a week old, and some when he first started daycare when I dropped an 8 ounce bottle of breast milk in the parking lot and it exploded. He promptly threw up everything. So either, he had an upset stomach to begin with or the formula pushed him over the edge. Anyway, I was just devastated. Luckily, I still have about 40 ounces of frozen milk, and my friend Catherine had some frozen milk that she donated to my cause. And this week, my milk supply is back with a vengence. I am so thankful for that. I really do not want to supplement Wyatt. I have been crying almost everyday because of the shooting in CN. I feel very hopeless that there will be any change in the guns avalable to the public, and also very hopeless that people with anger issues and mental health issues will have any resources except jail.

Man, 2ns shift is hard. For me who has to work it and for jeremy who has to stay home with the boys on his own. Liam FINALLY got crib rails.