yesterday, very good day. Amazing day.
Today, horrible.
oh well, win some, you lose some.
baby wyatt
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Baby insomnia sucks.. I put up a load of laundry and there is only so much you can look at on Facebook.
I passed my glucose test!!!!
I've been thinking about generosity a lot. If people demand your generosity, it becomes something else, but I can't put my finger on what. Who has a right to demand your time, your money, your love? Close family? Friends? People on the street? People who want what you have? Where is the line drawn? I'm confused by the whole subject, but I know this for sure. I am not my brother's keeper, and your need/want will never justify me giving up my livelihood to give you a better life. It is my decision to be generous, and if I de I decide not to be and that makes me selfish, than I would rather be 100 times selfish than give anyone who wishes it an open check book to my life so they can make withdrawals whenever they want to.
I passed my glucose test!!!!
I've been thinking about generosity a lot. If people demand your generosity, it becomes something else, but I can't put my finger on what. Who has a right to demand your time, your money, your love? Close family? Friends? People on the street? People who want what you have? Where is the line drawn? I'm confused by the whole subject, but I know this for sure. I am not my brother's keeper, and your need/want will never justify me giving up my livelihood to give you a better life. It is my decision to be generous, and if I de I decide not to be and that makes me selfish, than I would rather be 100 times selfish than give anyone who wishes it an open check book to my life so they can make withdrawals whenever they want to.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
it's been good on the contraction front the past few days. No real ones or Baxton-Hicks, although I did fail by glucose test and had to take a 3 hour repeat one yesterday. that is a horrible test. 4 arm sticks in the same spot is no fun. I've been on a self enforced "no sweet" diet since I failed the test because I'm concerned for the baby... I didn't fail the test with Liam, but maybe I got some late onset gestational diabetes and that was why Liam was so big. So, I'm worried about my sugars running high all the time and exposing the baby. So, it's been 5 days and I've actually lost 1.5 pounds. It's amazing how many times during the day I have a sweet tooth, or even want carbs. Whenever I have a craving for something sweet, I've been getting a bowl of oatmeal with protein powder and some type of fruit (dried or otherwise). Which means I've been eating oatmeal 2-3 times a day:) And tons of veggies so that I won't want to snack as often, and at least 40 grams of protein a day. It's working out well, and helping my bowels.
But man, what I wouldn't do for a huge thing of cheese fries and a milk shake from steak and shake. Maybe if I pass this three hour test, we can do a weekly splurge, instead of a daily splurge.
But man, what I wouldn't do for a huge thing of cheese fries and a milk shake from steak and shake. Maybe if I pass this three hour test, we can do a weekly splurge, instead of a daily splurge.
Friday, February 17, 2012
lots of braxton-hicks, with sparadoic real contractions thrown in. I have got to stop worrying and fretting so much, but alot of things are going on and it's making me a nervous wreck. I also have to stop carrying Liam around. I've cut back a lot, but not completely. 28 weeks today, 27 pound weight gain. this time with Liam I was at a 40 pound weight gain.
i had two real contractions this morning before I even got out of bed :(
i had two real contractions this morning before I even got out of bed :(
Friday, February 03, 2012
26 weeks today, and about 25 pounds gained--- this keeps fluctuating between 20 and 25 pounds, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be 25 pounds.
This is the 4th night in a row that Liam has gone to bed without a passy. I am so proud of him. this weekend we will likely tackle nap time. Hopefully that will go as smooth.
Work has been stressful. I get very angry about shady people and I wish that I could just let things go. Someone gave me the advise that your job is just a means to do the things that you love, but I want to like my job too. In general I do, it's just when people are horrible, it really gets to me. i wish that people could just be respectful and honorable. but they aren't.
Liam and Jeremy and I went on a walk today after work and it was very sweet, although liam skinned his hands falling.
We have been doing very good about handling Liam's temper tantrums and trying to minimize miscommunication. the other day, Liam was pointing at the kitchen counter, and I thought he wanted an animal cracker. but when i got one out, he immediately melted down and I knew right then that he wanted a banana cookie. But, we have been very consistent about not rewarding melt downs. So, we went back into the living room and Jeremy and I started playing together with Liam's toys until he realized it would be much more fun to play with us then to continue to have a melt down. And then next time he pointed to the kitchen counter, I picked liam up and let him reach for what he wanted. sometimes I just want to give him what he wants, but he has already learned very quickly that throwing a fit does not get rewarded because his fits are getting shorter and shorter. And I know he is little and doesn't understand, but I try to explain to him whenever I say no, or not to do something, why it is I don't want him to do it. "Liam, don't climb on the TV stand. It could fall over and hurt you." "Liam, be soft with the doggie, you don't want to hurt her". I think it will really help Liam to understand that mommy and daddy aren't "no nazis" for no reason.
Liam started kissing my tummy tonight and I think we made some head way on the idea of the baby in my belly. he saw his baby picture and pointed at it (never really noticed it before), and I held it to my stomach and said 'look Liam, there's a baby in my belly just like this baby' and a light bulb sorta went off in his face. I have been saying there's a baby in my belly for the past few months, but he had no idea what it meant. So, he's either excepting to see a baby, or a picture frame come out of me:)
sometimes I worry that I won't love the babies equally. I really really really like Liam. People always say you don't have a favorite, but what if they are lying so they won't sound like horrible people?
This is the 4th night in a row that Liam has gone to bed without a passy. I am so proud of him. this weekend we will likely tackle nap time. Hopefully that will go as smooth.
Work has been stressful. I get very angry about shady people and I wish that I could just let things go. Someone gave me the advise that your job is just a means to do the things that you love, but I want to like my job too. In general I do, it's just when people are horrible, it really gets to me. i wish that people could just be respectful and honorable. but they aren't.
Liam and Jeremy and I went on a walk today after work and it was very sweet, although liam skinned his hands falling.
We have been doing very good about handling Liam's temper tantrums and trying to minimize miscommunication. the other day, Liam was pointing at the kitchen counter, and I thought he wanted an animal cracker. but when i got one out, he immediately melted down and I knew right then that he wanted a banana cookie. But, we have been very consistent about not rewarding melt downs. So, we went back into the living room and Jeremy and I started playing together with Liam's toys until he realized it would be much more fun to play with us then to continue to have a melt down. And then next time he pointed to the kitchen counter, I picked liam up and let him reach for what he wanted. sometimes I just want to give him what he wants, but he has already learned very quickly that throwing a fit does not get rewarded because his fits are getting shorter and shorter. And I know he is little and doesn't understand, but I try to explain to him whenever I say no, or not to do something, why it is I don't want him to do it. "Liam, don't climb on the TV stand. It could fall over and hurt you." "Liam, be soft with the doggie, you don't want to hurt her". I think it will really help Liam to understand that mommy and daddy aren't "no nazis" for no reason.
Liam started kissing my tummy tonight and I think we made some head way on the idea of the baby in my belly. he saw his baby picture and pointed at it (never really noticed it before), and I held it to my stomach and said 'look Liam, there's a baby in my belly just like this baby' and a light bulb sorta went off in his face. I have been saying there's a baby in my belly for the past few months, but he had no idea what it meant. So, he's either excepting to see a baby, or a picture frame come out of me:)
sometimes I worry that I won't love the babies equally. I really really really like Liam. People always say you don't have a favorite, but what if they are lying so they won't sound like horrible people?
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