Today has been strange. The internet has been down since yesterday but it went on for like five minutes for me to check my email and write that little blog post before it went out again. And it just came back on just now but the phone still isn't working.

Can I just say how excited I am about that grade change. I am so glad that I went to eat lunch with Lissa, otherwise I would never had gone to the library and sat down to look over all those old assignments and I would have never had found that mistake. I'm just so glad in general. I woke Jeremy up in the middle of the night just to remind him I got that A. Now, watch me get a B in Nutrition and OTC.

You know, I bet there are people who think I'm all weird about being all obsessed about getting all A's. But, really, this year has made me be that way. Because, as Dr. Cshuai said, I'm a B+ kind of gal. And I'm ok with that. I didn't come into pharmacy school being obsessed. I was completely surprised when I got my grades last semester and they were all A's. Literally, my jaw dropped. But then the whole Faith thing happened and maybe getting sick and me not talking to Chris and just the drama that is my life and school was the one thing that I could get lost in. I could get lost in it and not have to think and it could be my excuse to not think or feel because it was legitamate. And the first thing I thought of when I saw that B was about how I've spent my entire semester basically putting all my energy into school just so I wouldn't have a nervous breakdown and it wasn't good enough. It wasn't good enough for an A. ANd I got all worried because if I can't use the one coping mechanism that I know for when things get really hard (and dealing with the death and Jeremy and his family was the hardest thing I've ever done), but else did I have? I really needed this A just to know that I am capable of being sane and able in insane times.