I'm still not going to tell you what I did this morning, but that and getting inspected by another female, and gaining some unwanted weight, has made my self esteem go into non-existence. I had the shortest pap smear of my entire existence, which makes me think she didn't do a very good job, and there wasn't anyone in the room, which has never happened before. it's sorta of weird to think about. Three basically complete strangers, including one man, have seen the inside of my vagina. and at the rate I'm going, I will have more women do the ole two finger test than men by the time I die. Is it strange that I ask for a woman to do the exam? Alot of females do that, I guess because they feel a female doctor/PA knows their body better. I guess for me it's sort of a loyalty thing to Jeremy.

man, do you ever go through your day and think "man, why did I say that, or think that, or look like that, or do that?" it's been one of those days, and Jeremy wasn't there for me when I needed him. he was at work and when i called, he had to answer another call, and then he came home late, and it just drives me crazy.

why is it so freaking hot in the house?

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