I'm burnt. Not all the way, I think it is actually tan, but I feel a lot tighter on my shoulders. I lathered me self up at the pool, but I used sun block from last year. Hopefully I won't wake up miserable.

We have caught 5 shrews in the basement. Who knew they were even down there- I just happen to see one dart into the wall when I was working out on night- didn't even really know what it was. But two mouse traps from Lowes and five dead shrewd, I'm wondering if there is n entire freaking colony living in our basement.

Last night I got woke up by a woman screaming- it was like a 3Am- it was somewhere behind the house- I ran out side and yelled if everything was okay- she cries to call 911- I ran back in to tell Jeremy and to put shorts on, the ran down to the basement to get a lantern then out the backyard through the gate- and she was gone. I never saw her and didn't even know what she looked like- I want back in- Jeremy was freaking out that I ran outside to help, and I just said if it was me screaming for help, you would want someone to come running to me, even if 3 in the morning in the dart- we called 911, and the police showed up 10 minutes later- didn't have much to tell them since she was gone- I'm not sure if she drove off or went into a house or what, but she was for sure hysterical and I was worried she did like a hit and run and someone was hurt- the police didn't find anything I guess because they never came back- made for a very dramatizing night.

I hope she is only. I did all I could- I didn't freak out and the time between me running outside and me going back out must have only been 45 secs- I don't know what happened in that 45 secs- maybe she left for the hospital.

I got up I the morning and checked outside in the daylight- I didn't see anything- then went wild blackberry picking- totally the risks outweighs the benefits- wild berries are very small and the thorns are oh so sharp. I had boots jeans long sleeve shirts and two pairs of exam globes on. I was still hurting every time I reached in- you got a bunch of berries- might as well make it worth my while.

Ever since my mom has died, I'm like on this higher plane of anxiety. The good thing is that I'm aware of it. That I can talk myself down usually- breathing deep and forcing myself to go on walks even if I don't want to. But it's tiring. And then the things going on in the world- things I can't change- veterans dying of OD, men getting murdered for broken tail lights- I will never lose sleep worrying about my boys being killed by the police, but there are hundred of other mothers that have to.  I don't want to be living in this time- I want things to just be sane right now- I want everyone to not be judged - for their religion or their race or their sexuality- I just want it to be decided that we will all just be and live our lives. But not happening- because there are horrible people in the world- that have always been there, but they were muted. Now there are horrible people on public platforms that bring them out of the wood work and now I have be slapped in the face with it instead of my peaceful denial.